The Adventure of the “Seal” and the Girl in the Red Bug

Life is so ironic at times. Today I had to go to the courthouse to pick-up copies of my Nan, Pap, and Dad’s death certificates, along with some other documents.

Within one department you can get birth certificates, death certificates, apply for marriage licenses and even pop into the courtyard to finalize that marriage license, with a quick ceremony with the judge.

What struck me as ironic; within those four walls, all phases of life were represented; the beginning, middle, and end. While I’m reflecting on the lives and passing of family members, a couple next to me is starting their journey together, filled with loving, hopeful smiles; with eager anticipation for the future.

How quickly, yet slowly it often feels, our journey here goes by. I wonder if the couple next to me realize this; time is of the essence. Most of us don’t, or at least I know I didn’t until the last several years. Our beginning, middle, and end go so quickly; being summed up on a few legal documents with a seal from the Court at the end.

We often don’t have control over our beginning, but what we do with the middle and end, is all on us. How we love, how we live, create the middle and end.

As I was reflecting today, a question came to me, what will my “seal” be? What am I doing with my middle (ok, closer to the later part of the middle, but middle nonetheless)? 

I want my seal to reflect my heart, my true heart. I want it to reflect the amount of love I have for those most important to me, for people to know they matter, they are significant, they make a difference. I want my seal to show my passion and gratitude for life, my sense of humor. 

At the end of it all, we all will be summed up with a few page summary on a legal document, with a seal.” So, go and make your seal count my friends, time is of the essence.

Until the next time,

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventure of the Unknown Trail and the Girl in the Red Bug

Some days are truly magical; providing moments of pure bliss mixed with the simplistic beauty of nature; Saturday was one of those days.

We opted to mixup our half marathon training with a hike or trail run. I found a trail, that I thought was near Muir Woods National Monument. What I didn’t realize, the trail was actually in the park, and reservations were required for parking. With no parking available for hours, we found roadside parking and picked up a trail from there, exploring with no set destination or mileage in mind.

The trail felt like a hidden gem, not heavily traveled; a perfect opportunity to disconnect and experience nature’s beauty, while soaking in the cooler temps provided by the marine layer and breathing in the air of cleaner, smoke-free skies. The day was a true gift.

It was the first day I felt good…truly good, in a long time; at peace but energized; connecting with the trail, taking in all the beauty, the sounds, the smells. Running…stopping to pick fresh blackberries…chatting with a lovely young couple and their two beautiful dogs. Still following the trail with no set destination.

We continued following the trail to the entrance of Muir Wood National Park, exploring and taking in the beauty of the majestic Redwoods; nature has a way of connecting me to God…touching my soul, renewing my spirit.

What do you do to disconnect and reconnect? If you aren’t taking time to do this, I encourage you to do so. Allow yourself to feel magic, experience peace, find the moments of bliss! 

Until the next time,

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventure of Becoming a Better Me

Have you ever had the feeling of being dismissed? You know that feeling that you are just so insignificant that, well, you are just dismissed. I experienced this today. It wasn’t unexpected, or a surprise, this has been a common behavior with the person. 

But, what was unexpected and very much a surprise, was my reaction. I told this person exactly what I thought of them. Exactly the words I have been wanting to say for YEARS! And, I mean years. 

As I continued to reflect on this interaction, I realized I allow people to “dismiss” me, I allow this professionally and personally.Because I don’t like conflict, because I don’t like hurt feelings, because I want to do the “right thing,” because I truly don’t like people to be upset with me, I am a people pleaser. So, I  stuff the feelings of being dismissed; the anger, resentment, the hurt…all of it contained, but festering. Often wondering, why isn’t someone speaking up? What isn’t  someone saying, “hey, that’s wrong, don’t act like that to her!” 

What I realized today…the someone that needed to speak up was ME, not someone else, but ME. Not only was this person dismissing me, I was doing the same thing to myself. By accepting this continual treatment  I have actually been dismissing myself. Whoa! Now that is a realization to unpack!

If you know me, or meet me, you would think I don’t have a problem sharing my opinion, or speaking, my mind; and, I don’t. But, I will often times in my discomfort with conflict (real or perceived), hurt feelings, or anger, become that “bull in a China shop.” I have an edge to me. Often not getting in front of the circumstances, but waiting for the situation to get better or to be different, I become more reactionary, which historically doesn’t workout well for anyone involved. The statement, “hurt people hurt people,” is very true.

Today was a valuable lesson. I felt freed, I feel relieved.I was able to take a deep breath, I was able to write! I released the feelings and emotions. Establishing  how we need, or want, to be treated is critical to leading a life of authenticity and more importantly, peace with oneself. 

Until the next time,

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventure of Saying Goodbye to 2020 and the Girl in the Red Bug

 It’s the end of the year...the time of year we all take a bit of time to reflect on years past and set those new year’s resolutions, that typically last three days into the new year.

As I read through blogs and social media post of New Years past, the theme seems to always be, “I won’t miss xyz year,” “peace out xyz year,” “this has been the worst year.” You get the theme, right!?

I have been guilty of those statements; so anxious for one year to come to an end and ready to jump into a new year with all the zeal and energy of a child at their first time at Disneyland!

But, 2020 has taught me A LOT! Mainly, no matter where I go, there I am; flipping a calendar page doesn’t miraculously make my life come together. It doesn’t magically make me healthy, organized, debt free, happy with a career, or 20 lbs lighter!

Each hour, day, month, year holds opportunity; opportunity to make healthier choices, opportunity to go for a run instead of watching TV, opportunity to call someone special and let them know I am  thinking of them; opportunity to create the lives we envision for ourselves.

And, after 2020, I realize each moment, each opportunity should be cherished and not wasted; don’t think “the next day,” “the next year.” Instead of saying, “I’ll start tomorrow,” say “I am starting NOW.”

Here is to a 2021 of saying yes; yes to what is healthy for you, yes to what brings you joy and makes your heart so full it almost bursts, yes to the life each of us envisions. Don’t wait, the time is now!

Until the next time,

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventures of Facebook Memories and the Girl in the Red Bug

 Who else feels the bittersweetness of Facebook memories? 

Yes, part of my day consists of looking back on Facebook memories. Some memories make me shake my head and say WTF? Some memories make me think, “damn girl, you need to get a life (those are mostly related to the Real Housewives postings), and some memories bring me to tears. 

Seeing sweet, funny posts from family members and friends no longer with us; words of encouragement from them; and precious photos that randomly pop-up, make my heart ache, all while smiling with love. Bittersweet, friends, but, memories are like that, aren’t they and we should cherish each one and feel all the feels.

So today, as I head into my day, creating more memories, that are yet to be seen which emotion they will invoke from my future self, I will look at today’s memories and smile (and, maybe wipe away a tear or two). 

Hoping you are creating all types of memories today, cherishing each moment, and feeling all the feels. 

Until the next time,

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventures of Home and the Girl in the Red Bug

Home..what is home? Is it a building with with four walls? Is it a city or town, where we reside, or perhaps have resided in our past? I venture to guess, the word “home” means different things for different people.

For me, “home” has always been a feeling. A feeling of belonging, of community, and fellowship; good, bad, or indifferent. 

I contribute my feeling of home, to my upbringing in a small community.

I have found, over the last several years, I long for that sense of “home.” That feeling of a Friday night football game, with the whole town running up and down the sideline supporting their team, the restaurant where you walk in and you are kindly greeted by someone who actually knows who you are. The knowing and caring of your neighbors. A day of hard work well rewarded.

It’s ironic, for many years, all I wanted was autonomy. I found myself fighting the very core of my upbringing. I refused to go back to my hometown, for many years, for varying reasons. But, as we have gone through, notably, the craziest year in most of our lives, I have found the need to go “home.” To drive by the homes of my childhood, to feel the feels of times and moments gone by.  To see the porch, where Santa left my first red bike, to see the window of my bedroom that housed a beautiful canopy bed, that I no doubt didn’t value and appreciate then, as I do now. To remember the yard with a beautiful, bountiful garden; to look at the place where we all came together to make the ugliest Homecoming float, ever. To see where my sense of safety came from, in what sometimes felt like a scary, lonely, chaotic world. I long to surround myself with the feelings of what make-up home to me; to wrap myself up in a “big hug” of home.

I encourage each of you to feel your "home," and then take time to wrap yourself in your big hug of it.

Wishing you the biggest hug of home..until the next time.

The Girl in the Red Bug

The Adventures of Learning Again

This weekend, I woke up, again with low-energy, major body stiffness, and feeling like my body was so inflamed, that I could hardly move. Sadly, this has been my daily feeling, for quite sometime. My movements are labored and everything seems to be a chore. 

I got on the scale ...and, YIKES I wanted to cry. But,I have spent a lot of time crying over my weight gain; and, low and behold, that has not helped me shed one pound or feel any better. I have cried more than one tear, about how I thought I had turned the corner on my issues with food, and really having a solid commitment to my running, and, to my overall health and wellness. But, here I sit, back at square one; most days feeling like an utter failure and wondering what the hell happened? How did I let my health and wellness take a backseat, once again!? Although the number on the scale can be pretty depressing, it is truly just a reflection  of my actions (or lack there of). Or, maybe more of a reflection of the priorities in my life.

Even though I still struggle with breaking out of old patterns, the upside, I know it’s possible - I have done it and know the benefits of it, not only from a physical perspective, but, more importantly from an emotional and spiritual perspective.

Today is a new day! What are you doing to make a difference for yourself?