After two chiropractic appointments, one massage, and some very deep stretching, what it took to get relief for my back problem of last week, was letting some emotional shit, which I had been holding onto, go.
Our bodies are truly amazing, they are capable of things that we don’t even realize, often times, that we can do. But, I have found (more than once) with all the amazing feats that our bodies can accomplish and endure, stress or “emotional shit,” can cause a complete physical shut down, it will literally bring a relatively healthy, physically active person to their knees. Stress, or emotional shit, will eventually manifest in some way shape or form, if not dealt with in a healthy, constructive way. Some can take on a lot of emotional shit before the damn breaks, some cannot take as much before that break (I probably fall into the later category). The emotional shit manifestation can be something like I was experiencing with my back, it can lead to larger and more serious medical conditions (as studies have shown), it can impact personal and professional relationships; the negative ways we can be impacted are numerous.
Letting go is not easy for me. I, by nature, am an over thinker. I am also one of those people that when I care about something, someone, or a situation, I care deeply, often times too deeply. Those two personality traits, combined, can cause me to get stuck in the shit so to speak. But, Friday the most amazing thing happened, and it was nothing of my specific doing, I just felt an emotional shift occur, I was able to take a deep breath (something I had not been able to do for at least four months now and a constant complaint to my chiropractor) and let go, the pain in my back subsided. It was the most freeing feeling; and at that moment I had such clarity and confidence that although we all go through shit there is that bigger plan for each of us, and if we allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable and authentic, that plan will be revealed to us in time. My faith, was more clear than it has been in years. I can only contribute this shift to being a total God thing.
With all this being said, I know that no road is ever completely free of potholes, or rivets; being authentic and vulnerable are not easy; good days and bad days will still exist but with faith, and the ability to let go of the shit, the road will be a little more smooth.
So here is to hoping that we can each know, and be, our authentic selves, that we can show our vulnerability with an open heart and confidence that it’s OK. And above all else, let your faith (whatever that means to you) carry you through the shit.
Until the next time,
The Girl in the Red Bug
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