Have you ever had the feeling of being dismissed? You know that feeling that you are just so insignificant that, well, you are just dismissed. I experienced this today. It wasn’t unexpected, or a surprise, this has been a common behavior with the person.
But, what was unexpected and very much a surprise, was my reaction. I told this person exactly what I thought of them. Exactly the words I have been wanting to say for YEARS! And, I mean years.
As I continued to reflect on this interaction, I realized I allow people to “dismiss” me, I allow this professionally and personally.Because I don’t like conflict, because I don’t like hurt feelings, because I want to do the “right thing,” because I truly don’t like people to be upset with me, I am a people pleaser. So, I stuff the feelings of being dismissed; the anger, resentment, the hurt…all of it contained, but festering. Often wondering, why isn’t someone speaking up? What isn’t someone saying, “hey, that’s wrong, don’t act like that to her!”
What I realized today…the someone that needed to speak up was ME, not someone else, but ME. Not only was this person dismissing me, I was doing the same thing to myself. By accepting this continual treatment I have actually been dismissing myself. Whoa! Now that is a realization to unpack!
If you know me, or meet me, you would think I don’t have a problem sharing my opinion, or speaking, my mind; and, I don’t. But, I will often times in my discomfort with conflict (real or perceived), hurt feelings, or anger, become that “bull in a China shop.” I have an edge to me. Often not getting in front of the circumstances, but waiting for the situation to get better or to be different, I become more reactionary, which historically doesn’t workout well for anyone involved. The statement, “hurt people hurt people,” is very true.
Today was a valuable lesson. I felt freed, I feel relieved.I was able to take a deep breath, I was able to write! I released the feelings and emotions. Establishing how we need, or want, to be treated is critical to leading a life of authenticity and more importantly, peace with oneself.
Until the next time,
The Girl in the Red Bug
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