a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance
Transformations come in many shapes and forms (pun somewhat intended). They can be in, as the definition states, in form or appearance, but transformation can also occur in the heart, in the soul, in the very depth of your being.
Often times, transformation can start out as one thing and somehow before you know it can, well.....transform into something else. This is what happened to me.
I have dabbled in running now, for years. I would start, not be consistent, stop, and start all over again. I registered and participated in 5ks, 10ks, and YES even a half marathon..half way train...or not train at all, then get frustrated, and pissed off, wondering why I struggled through the whole run. As I have written about previously, last year I experienced some wonderful highs; but with the highs came some of the lowest of lows. I struggled with the lows as I haven’t struggled before; those low moments really kicked my ass, but then...in came running. Running became my saving grace; my safe place.
As I began to run through my sadness and struggles, or as I like to put it, “run my crazy off or out, transformation began. With each run, I cried a little less, I smiled a little more. I began to look at food not as an emotional comfort to rid me of my heartache, but as something that nourished my body for running. I began to organize my days around my running calendar. Transformation occurred in so many areas of my life, with just the simple act beginning to, and more importantly, dedicating myself to consistent running. Slowly, with each pound of the pavement, I was becoming the runner I had always wanted to be.
An added benefit of my emotional transformation, was in my physical appearance. I have struggled my whole adult life with my weight. I have tried every weight loss program, with no success. I have worked out with personal trainers, done boot camp...you name it, I have tried it, short of wiring my jaw shut..nothing worked. But, as I began to focus on healing my heart, as I began focusing more on the run and properly fueling my body, transformation happened. I quit the body shaming and started to value and appreciate my body for its physical accomplishments. I began to love myself, just a little more.
Now, I would love to say that running has completely vanquished all my sadness and struggles, that the tears I cry now are only happy tears, that each run is better than the last run, and that I am a size 2, but we do live in reality after all...I have learned transformation is a slow process. Transformation is a marathon, not a sprint - it takes work, dedication, patience and self-love; somedays, it is two steps forward and then five steps back. Transformation can lift you high and then kind of stomp you into the ground, she is kind of a fickle bitch that way....but, transformation is completely worth it. I look at where I started, see where I am now and realize I am proud of my transformation. It excites me, and motivates me, to continue with the journey. I want my transformation to be thorough and dramatic, I want it to be who I am...part of my definition.
Below are some of transformation photos. The picture on the left, was taken at the 12ks of Christmas in 2014, the second photo is the 12ks of Christmas in 2015, and the third photo was taken in April 2016, at the Hollywood Half Marathon Expo (my second half marathon this year).
What are some ways you want to, or have transformed, yourself? Share your journey!
Until the next time,
The Girl in the Red Bug